quiting day 4 arrgh

will it ever end.

ok truthfully i am impressed with myself...i went to work today endured all the things i though made me not able to quit and still i survived...holly shit...
but at the same time how much energy can i put into pretending that i don't want to crawl into a corner and die!

can i share something? ha of course i can...so while i was sleeping i kept having visions of what i have been wasting my life on... stupid things like my closet, my wall color etc... my brain was almost going to tell me what was so god damn important... like the meaning of life...then i woke up ha...it has me thinking though. does my sub conscience know something i don't? am i starting to feel a sense of realism instead of this fake getting by all these years??? OMG am i growing up?????

phew deepness...cig withdrawal deepness...it only comes when you are really ready to give it up.
hug me...